Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Metropolitan Paradox

Residing in a city as large as Los Angeles has a way of making you want to find every possible way to get out. It feels like a prison in some ways. And, for 24 years of my life, I tried to escape. When I had the chance to leave and bid farewell forever, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I chose to come back, the city and everything in her called me back, and so I returned.

There's always this looming feeling of loneliness that stays with you when you're here. Surrounded constantly by people you like, care for, love, and still one can feel quite alone despite it all. Places like my favorite coffee shop, strangely enough give me the sense of stability I need. I wouldn't know how to function if it weren't there. It's strange how I find myself feeling dependent on a place to give me that sense of security; my anchor. The people change, the place changes a little, but the address is the same, the way to get there remains the same, and the journey there always feels the same. It's easier to love or maybe grow close to something than it is to love or grow close to someone. People are without promise, unpredictable, and the one constant about us is that we're guaranteed to change.

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